Lucia Fryett 

Malmö, Sweden

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How to counteract negative self-talk

Updated: Feb 5

Is your negative self-talk holding you back from reaching your dreams?




Hey there lovely!


There are so many different challenges that arise when you start to reach for more in life. The most difficult one that I have had to overcome is the self-talk that starts as soon as I set inspired goals. First comes the excitement of all the things that are possible - which is your true expression - and then comes the negative self-talk that takes away all positive anticipation.


So today, I want to explain to you how you can counteract this pattern, with this simple mindset work.


Are you ready?


Let's go!


Step one: Empathising with the pattern


When we strive for new realms that we’ve never had before, the ego can get spooked. The ego wants us to be unchallenged, so a tactic it uses is to throw insults and negative thoughts at us so that we give up before we get going. It might grab some painful words that someone in your past used against you. Or it’ll come up with something new to knock your confidence.. #thanksmind


The root of your negative self-talk is actually trying to keep you safe.

The first area to focus on is to understand that the ego is simply trying to protect you. It’s like the overprotective sibling that doesn’t get that you’re an adult now and that you’re good!! So instead of judging the negative talk and running away from it (which only ever makes it worse) name the thoughts to tame them whilst thanking the ego for trying to keep you safe.  


It can be disorienting when it feels like your own mind is against you with your attempts for growth, but once you know how to master your self-talk you’ll be unstoppable.


Step two: Journaling to get clear on the negative voice


Get journaling on exactly what the negative self-talk is saying.


Have you ever heard of the phrase "name it to tame it"? By writing the thoughts down, you can start to get specific about the thoughts that are troubling you the most and therefore what mindset work you need to do to move forward. The thoughts aren’t a part of you and you have the power to stop them. Writing the thoughts down is the first step to striding straight past them towards your dreams.


For a week, every time you happen to detect the negative thoughts at play, have a journal close by and write down exactly what thoughts you are having.




Step three: The mindset work


The specific negative thoughts you're having will actually be the seeds of opportunity. The way that you can make the most growth in your life. This process will help you practice to notice the thoughts and then consequently question them.


Now that you have a week's worth of specific negative thoughts, group them into categories on a new page. Which areas are you seeing being repeated again and again? Which of the groups have the most amount of repetitions? Prioritise the thoughts into a list with the most repeated thought at the top of the list.


Now the mindset work can begin, starting with the most fundamental negative thought, the one that was repeated the most times. Turn that thought into a limiting belief. For example "you'll never make it financially" can be translated into "I have a limiting belief that I will never make it financially". Repeat this for all the beliefs you have.


Now, starting with the one you feel is right, turn the belief around into a positive affirmation. So the above example could be turned into "I am letting go of the struggle, and I am allowing my abundance to flow through me". Once you have an affirmation that you get a heartwarming feeling from, repeat it to yourself every morning ten times. Do this for one month, and stick to it.


It might seem like a lot of work, but doing this process for your deep limiting beliefs, you will start to see significant changes in your behaviour. The patterns that you kept seeing repeating yourselves will slowly start to shift into the direction you need to succeed.



Written by Lucia Fryett  WebsiteInstagram  |  Facebook


Lucia is a Business Coach who helps women to master an entrepreneurial mindset and set up their own businesses. Her background is in user experience consulting and now helps women to create an online business so that they can get regular pay checks doing what they love.


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